Customer Service Dictionary

1. 6-8 weeks – you better pray that it doesn’t get sent to Heromex, spend three months there, and still come back broken
2. Let me connect you to her voicemail – The supervisor never answers her VM. You’re just going to end up talking to me again.
3. We’ll replace your product – We never have the right model in stock. We really mean we’ll find something cheaper and send that to you.
4. Our overseas manufacturer – China
5. I’ll look into this and see what I can do – You’re screwed
6. There were 1000 abandoned calls – there were 10
7. Company is monitoring the calls – Billy printed reports
8. We’re going to have a meeting at 5:20 – We’ll never have the meeting. We just want to scare you
9. Handle your customers – Lie, lie, lie, lie and make excuses.

A Customer Service Representative Does Not Care About Your Money

When you buy a watch, it does not automatically come sized for your wrist. It comes at a standard length. Reason being: peoples’ wrist sizes can vary from person to person. It is not my responsibility, and neither the company I work, to make each watch individually sized. Is it really that difficult to understand that a watch comes with plenty of “girth” to give way for big people? I apologize for those out there that have an enormous wrist size. And actually, I receive plenty of phone calls every day from people that COMPLAIN about how the bands on our watches come incredibly too small for their wrist.

 

I’d like to also mention, saying that you “are just going to have to send it back” doesn’t mean anything to me. A customer service representative does not give two cents about what a consumer does with the product they have just purchased. A customer service representative does not care about what you do with your money and neither do they care about how much a person spends on the company’s products. Yes, a consumer is very important in the sense that they do have buying power and they can buy anything from anywhere. Honestly, though, a customer service representative is not paid to “care” about how someone is spending their money. They are paid to assist a customer in handling and using their product. They are there to give the consumer of a company’s product help on how to use it. Again, a customer service representative does not particularly care if you are going to send back a product for a refund. Their paycheck is not affected by such returns. The only person that suffers from such “returns” by a consumer exercising their buying power is the vendor that sold the product in the first place. That’s not to say that the creator of the product does not suffer. Of course they do. But, they only suffer if consumers return said product in mass quantities. Then the creator of the product loses a client due to bad workmanship.

 

Customer Service does not care about money. Plain & simple.

Customer Voices

Another day at the office! Customer service at this company is pretty decent. Mornings are full of online events that consist of reading The New York Times, MSNBC.com, and tabloids. Sometimes people call early in the morning and request to register a warranty for their watch. Other times they call in wanting to complain about how the watch they just bought from one of our biggest vendors arrived to them in a damaged package.

 

Is it my company’s fault that the product the customer purchases from the vendor arrives damaged? No, it isn’t. The vendor that buys our product does some ungodly things to them. At some point, their quality assurance employees bitterly manhandle the merchandise and ship it out the customer. The customer then receives it, calls my company, airs their frustrations out on us, and then, ultimately, they return it to the vendor they bought it from. During that process, who knows if they bitterly manhandle the product they had just bought. They probably drop the product or scratch it up and return it to the vendor like that.

 

What does the vendor do? They give it to their quality assurance employee who, in turn, inspects the product and OKs the product to be sellable again. The vendor then puts it on the shelf again and waits for another customer to buy the product. Of course, as soon as the customer receives the product they requested, they bitterly call my company and complain that they received it in a horrible condition and that they expected better product presentation from my company.

 

It’s a vicious cycle! It’s been like this for quite some time and it is going to take a lot of time and effort to correct the errors that the vendor is making. This will end up hurting my company’s image and no one will really trust the company again.

 

Another question should also be asked, “Does my company even care?”